I got a window seat.
Even though I have flown on Reshiram too many times to count, I always get excited about flying. I figured taking off on a plane wouldn't be too different than on a Pokémon, but it took so much longer, making me impatient. It would start to back up slowly, turn, go straight and pick up speed, stop, and then go again. It took about fifteen minutes for us to actually get into the air, and I was shaking in my seat. N sat beside me looking bored as hell, and I resisted the urge to hit him and make him as excited as I was. It was beautiful.
I didn't have my Pokeballs on me. No one could on the plane; they were all stowed away beneath. I would have loved to have Serperior to enjoy it with me, but according to security, it was a safety hazard.
I spent the four hours chatting with N and watching people. We whispered to each other and pointed out the obvious foreigners. To N and I's surprise, there were people from Germany on the plane. It was a family on vacation by the looks of it. I had never heard German before; it was interesting to listen to. Even highly book smart N was lost at the complexity, and he wasn't too bad with different languages. In the time he has been with me, I have heard him mutter in French, Spanish and English. I didn't know what they meant, but by the sounds of it, they were probably curse words.
The pack of Germans followed us to the hotel.
Okay, they didn't follow us, but we all booked the same hotel coincidentally. N actually tried talking to a few, but they only knew basic Japanese, and were only able to respond with "Hello" and a broken up sentence about the time. I'm sure they knew more, they had to, but they were so flustered by N's approach that they all scrambled for words.
While N furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion, I checked in with the woman behind the desk. I turned around to take in the lobby as she typed and tried to locate the elevator. I was tired beyond belief; sitting in a seat for four and a half hours really took its toll on you.
I stopped looking around to focus on a tall man standing next to the German tourists' luggage cart. He looked maybe in his mid twenties and had dirty blonde hair. The one thing that stuck out was his eyes; they were a bright, intense blue. I had never seen a blue like his before, not even Three's could compare.
He was watching N struggle with the tourists, his eyes extremely intent and alert. He looked highly protective, and I wasn't surprised at all when he sighed and hurried over to his family.
He opened his mouth.
My jaw dropped.
"You'll have to excuse my family, they only know a few words. They haven't been visiting very long."
Perfect damn Japanese.
"He speaks Japanese better than me," I muttered grudgingly to myself.
"Miss?" The woman prompted. I turned around quickly and took my keys, giving her a thankful smile.
"Have a wonderful time in Sinnoh. It's beautiful this time of year." She said with a smile.
"Thank you, I'm sure I will." I said happily before hurrying over to N.
I bumped my shoulder against his arm to let him know I was there. He glanced at me quickly before extending his hand to the man. Seeing him up close, he was about N's height, maybe a little taller. He had stubble and a well defined jaw and a perfect nose and the prettiest eyes and was… terribly handsome.
Nothing to worry about N… it's just an observation.
"You were totally screwing him with your eyes!" I insisted as I unzipped my suitcase.
N's jaw dropped, "That is completely inappropriate." He chided, throwing a blouse at me. I caught it swiftly and was about to throw it back at him when I noticed something.
It was mine!
"What are you doing with my blouse?" I laughed.
"I don't know," he answered with a smirk. "But, if you don't mind my commenting, it does look especially nice on you."
I reflexively smiled. "You're totally hopeless."
"Hopeless, or hot?" He quickly shot back at me. Another habit he picked up from Touya.
"Hopeless," I repeated, biting my lip. "Don't get too cocky, ugly boy."
He let out a single snort, "We both know that last part isn't true." Touya.
"I'm sure that hunk of German meat out there would agree with you."
"Maybe I should go get his number." N said dryly, slamming his suitcase shut. "After all, Touya and I didn't really work out."
I giggled at the mental image. In all honesty, it wasn't hard at all to imagine Touya and N as a couple. They had grown so close since their first meeting and already acted as if they have known each other for years. The only issue that I could think of, though, was Touya's messy habits and N's 'Suzie Homemaker' persona. Of course, all good things come to an end. One thing would lead to another and someone would end up breaking the GameCube and the honeymoon would be over.
"I'd be damned. You're mine." I said sternly, hoping secretly that he'd take that seriously.
"I know," he whispered hoarsely, almost as if he lost his voice for a second. He cleared his throat, repeating "I know" more loudly and direct.
Our relationship was complex. We both knew where we were heading, but we never talked about it. It was awkward most of the time. There were many times that I even put any romantic thoughts towards N in the back of my mind because he made such a great friend. Of course, I would always rebound right into the same heartbreak arena. I guess, looking at all the signs, we technically are in a relationship. But, nothing was ever made official.
To be honest, it seemed like a touchy friends-with-benefits relationship. We would kiss, or he would hold me, and we'd never mention it again. Our inexperience combined with N's already dysfunctional behavior was a recipe for, not exactly a disaster, but a confusing rollercoaster that had me unprepared for the next heart-dropping nose dive into the ground.
I never knew with N. And, to be truthful, I doubt that I'll ever really know. No matter how long, how well, and how physically and emotionally bonded we are, there will always be a hidden side to him. I can kiss him all I want, there's no breaking those walls. I don't expect to, either.
As far as I know, he's only had one attack since he's been around. I'm not around him at all times to watch over him like I probably should be, but I just assumed he hasn't had any more. Sure, he would get anxiety from time to time, but he knew how to keep it controlled (for the most part). There have been times where he would jump up unexpectedly and run to the bathroom. I would hear a door slam right before he would violently throw up everything he had into the toilet.
I would knock quietly on the door, "N, are you okay?" I would say softly, lowering my hand to the doorknob incase I would have to go in.
"I'm...fine," he would wheeze. There would be a light thump as N would fall against the wall and just sit down on the cold floor, sometimes pressing his face against the tub to feel the soothing coolness.
I would give him a minute to compose himself before going in and sitting next to him. I wouldn't touch him until he would let me, not because I was scared, but because I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. My bathroom wasn't big, but it didn't stop me from getting cramped with him. Seeing as N would constantly clean, I had no issues with sitting on the floor. I didn't care. It's not like I'm easily grossed out.
He would sigh. That's when I knew he was calming down. At this point, he'd probably lean into me and nuzzle his face into my lap. I'd take a band from my wrist and gather up all his hair, maybe stopping to run my fingers across his scalp for a while, and put it in a ponytail. It was always a task, though, since he had much more hair than me.
It was a brief moment of comfort since neither of us wanted to hang out in the bathroom all day. It would last for twenty minutes at the most, and would always end with me leading him somewhere where he could lay down and sleep. Sometimes I would leave him alone, but he would often stop me and insist that I stay. He'd fall asleep in seconds, leaving me to sit alone on a chair or in the corner of the room to think and to worry and to fathom.
I would brush my finger across my eyelashes over and over again, not exactly waiting, but hoping, that he'll wake up and be freed from his prison of looming anxiety, and that he'll smile and laugh and be carefree and to just forget his past and we could be happy.
And then, I'd stop thinking, because he's not the only one who needs to learn how to be happy.